Saturday, January 12, 2008

I'm Kinda a Basket Case

I am irrationally feeling guilty about how upset I am about my little guy and his seizures. I'm struggling with being so consumed by it when all I am is his teacher. I'm not a family member or anything so why am I so affected by all of this? That's not a real question...I mean I understand why I'm feeling the way I am. I know that I love all my students and would be willing to take a bullet for any of them. I understand the teacher/student relationship but I don't know that his family understands or the people around me understand why all I've been talking about recently is "some kid in my class." No one has really thought to think of how M's teacher might be feeling about all of this. No one would ever say, "Just imagine how his teacher must feel." I think I'm feeling my feelings are discredited or misplaced when in actuality I know its good and normal to react the way I am. And now rereading this, it makes me come across as, "what about me!?!?" and that's not what I'm trying to accomplish. Really, I just need to say (via blog) that many teachers are 100% invested in their students' lives. When they hurt we hurt. The student/teacher relationship is endearing and I think it often goes unnoticed.

Quick M. Update:
His seizures have lessoned in intensity but are happening at a higher frequency. They are worried that he will not respond to drug therapy. He is having seizures almost every 20 minutes. He is in no state to come back to school at this time and so I will be going to him twice a week to work with him.


MadMad said...

Oh no! Poor guy! How terrible it must be for him - I am sure it means so much that you go visit him. That is so nice! And I'm sure his parents appreciate it inmensely.

MadMad said...

Oops! Nice spelling, huh?


Hey, first, thanks for checking out my blog and leaving a comment! My son is in second grade and when his teachers says "I love the kids" I've always taken it with a grain of salt. Reading your posts about M. show me that teachers do have really significant relationships with the children, and that makes me so happy. I'll be back!