Thursday, October 18, 2007

You Know You're a Teacher When...

by Jeff Foxworthy

1. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.
2. You get a secret thrill out of laminating something.
3. You walk into a store and hear the words "It's Ms/Mr.> _________" and know you have been spotted.
4. You have 25 people that accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another.
5. You can eat a multi-course meal in under twenty minutes.
6. You've trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day: lunch and planning period.
7. You start saving other people's trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.
8. You believe the teachers' lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.
9. You want to slap the next person who says "Must be nice to work 8 to 3 and have summers off."
10. You believe chocolate is a food group.
11. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."
13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.
14. You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.
15. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own needs.
17. You can't pass the school supply aisle without getting at least five items!
18. You ask your friends if the left hand turn he just made was a "good choice or a bad choice."
19. You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils
20. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer and finally,
21. You understand instantaneously why a child behaves a certain way after meeting his or her parents.


LitTeacher said...

I especially agree with number 13 and number 20. But a good lamination does it for me too...and the sharpened pencils. Sick.

MadMad said...

Ha! I just had "my" teacher conference today... I'm pretty sure my daughter's six grade teacher now knows why my daughter is wrapped so tight...

Mean Mommy said...

Too funny! There's a whole 'nother list for we teachers of college kids. I may have to write that!

Anonymous said...

Okay, I have just started reading your blog (during my prep and this is just too funny. I teach high school math and quite a few of these still apply. I look forward to reading more! I would like to add your blog to the list of those that I read. I am new to blogging and yours is the first teacher blog I have read. How fun! I am excited to read more

Mr. B said...

With a 3 years until retirement I knew the source for this list was likely K-6. I too am a high school teacher,the list still applies with alterations and additions. My clients have always been 15-18 years of age and teaching has it's quirks. Like any occupation, teaching has provided endless material for Gary Larson and his "Farside" cartoons. I teach in a high school of 8,500, mostly Latino, on two campuses. My list will look quite a bit different however, knowing why a student is the way they are when meeting the parents? Timeless.

Dennis Schroeder said...

You can never decide on a name for your child because every name brings up bad memories

Tim Wohlford said...

First, gonna suggest that Jeff Foxworthy didn't say this stuff...

Second, let me add one --

"You're a teacher when, on one hand, you complain that you could make more money doing another job... but wouldn't dream of any other job."